Whether an unlikely stranger or a close friend, all it takes is one glimpse of these three traits for me to admire a person all day. Is it your charm or good looks? Is it your intelligence or confidence? Is it your kindness or smile? Not really. While these factors are certainly awesome and appreciated in the world, there are three very specific qualities that steal my heart and attention.
1. Collective Purpose
Sure we all have purpose (it’s such a buzz word, right?) You might see your role at your job as your purpose, or your role of husband or mother for example. But these relate to your personal or professional purpose.
Collective purpose is something different all together. Each of us possesses some great problem we solve for humanity within our hearts. Mine is helping people shake free from the pressures of society so they can live their most meaningful lives. And when I see someone living their purpose in a moment, it know it instantly. I feel it in my body.
Yesterday after a decluttering marathon, I was dropping off a bag of unwanted books at Pegasus bookstore in Oakland, to trade in for store credit. When I showed up, the young, lanky guy behind the counter looked inwardly focused, in his head and not very interested in the people around him. But when I asked him if he could suggest where to donate my remaining unbought books, he lit up with warmth and love out of nowhere and recommended a spot which donates the books to prisoners (Moe’s and the Prisoners Literature Project near UC Berkeley). As an expert who has a lot of practice picking out collective purpose for my clients, it is so clear that his purpose is to empower and uplift those who feel trapped in life. Now I live on the other side of town, but the simple warmth of his heart convinced me to drive up there and drop off my books anyway, and I have spent many moments enjoying and reliving that moment.
2. Unique Star Strength
Your Star Strength is something I’ve named for my coaching clients. It could also be called your core essence or true individual flavor. It’s the thing we don’t even realize is our greatness because we’ve literally been with it every second of our lives. However, the rest of the world hasn’t and wishes it would come out and play more!
This is different from your Myers-Briggs personality type or your “strengths” via StrengthsFinder. Personality tests can be fun and useful, but your individual light and unique strength is untouchable by diagnostics that put you in a category with millions of others. That’s something only you can uncover, develop and hone yourself. Mine is defiant devotion, as in “this is going to be awesome, no matter what!” Dmv? This is going to be awesome! Dentist? This is going to be awesome! I think you get the picture.
Just outside my bedroom window in Adam’s Point, I love to watch neighbors pass by throughout the day. Early one morning, amidst the professionals, well-primped and headed to work at 8a, strutted by a middle-aged man in beat up sweats and ragged tennis shoes, bent slightly over to his right side. While the world might not recognize his brilliance at first glance, his light was undeniable and stunning to me, and he stole my attention from the dozens of others. He was so clearly living and being his UTQ, which I would call peaceful freedom. I could see that no matter what the circumstances in his life, he was blessed to be able to be and feel free in any moment if he tapped into the core of himself, and this experience lingered beautifully with me all day. I only wondered if he realized how much the people in his life loved this and needed this.
Although passion sounds simple enough, I can’t tell you how many people are engaged in a fun hobby or creative extracurricular that is not their genuine passion. Something that excites you for a while or keeps you busy or makes you feel more interesting at parties is not a passion. Your passion is something that you personally fell in love with as a kid, and most of us have forgotten it, sadly. It’s been buried under a mountain of bills and laundry and anxiety. Mine is dance. I used to come home from 3rd grade, put on MTV and go to town to Madonna and Rod Stewart (#80sbaby).
Recently, I was in the checkout line at Sephora and noticed a young cashier delivering compliments to everyone who came through her line. But there was something absolutely touching about her style. It wasn’t just a way to make someone smile or pass the work day, it was undoubtedly her passion, and she made every comment unique and genuine as well. Her passion of expressing her appreciation for people wasn’t limited to a form – writing, song or dance for example, and I was so moved that she had found a way to live hers at work.
If you might be ready to dispel the pressures and stresses of your life once and for all by honing the light of your passion, treasure and purpose, reach out to me to schedule a free intro call and find out more: firstname.lastname@example.org.