Did you hear about what happened in Charlottesville this past weekend? How appalling, right?! I mean what can we do about it?
It’s so frustrating to hear about this stuff going on in the world and feel hopeless, stuck and like there’s nothing you can do to help besides share articles or rants on Facebook.
Well, I have a unique viewpoint and solution that I hope you’ll give me a few minutes of your time to share, one that includes a retroactive healing of the toxic legacy of the Holocaust!
What if everything we see “evil” people do in the world, you and I both possess at subconscious and fractional levels, not because you’re a bad person but simply by nature of being human? Scary thought. I’m part murderer, part racist, part rapist. Eeew.
Here’s the solid gold nugget in this crazy, hare-brained idea:
If this is true, that means you and I can (slowly, slowly) tip the scales of hate consciousness in the world by getting rid of even the tiniest drops of hate we carry in ourselves.
As a personal and professional development expert, I feel I have a joyful responsibility to write this piece in order to educate others on the higher purpose and function of hate in the human psyche.
And more importantly, how the heck can hate be useful to us?!
I want to show you how to use your hate, how to transform it into your happiness, so you can go and spread that happiness in the world. I also genuinely wish that my words may prevent a hate act in the future from occurring. Who knows!
While most of us do not possess a level of hatred which moves us to violently kill another human being, most of us have had brushes with fleeting moments of hate.
Our personal moments of hate fly under the radar because they are totally accepted by society as normal annoyance or irritation with an ego-maniac co-worker, a stubborn neighbor or self-centered, braggy friend on social media, for example.
Is there someone you just can’t stand at work, in your community or on your Facebook feed?
Have you ever thought, done or said something to judge them or make them look bad? Well, so have I.
Don’t worry! This isn’t a slam-fest intended to make you feel bad about yourself! There’s a reason for me pointing out these moments of weakness.
Wouldn’t it be a whole heck of a lot more pleasant to transform those tiny drops of hate and judgement into something more uplifting and productive, like, hmm I don’t know, HAPPINESS AND BLISS???
Here is the 3 step process of exactly how to transform your hate into soul-satisfying, true happiness:
Who or what do you hate? Alright let’s hear it! Who bothers the bejeesus out of you sometimes?
Now here’s the key.
What exactly do you think is “wrong” about this person? What is it about them EXACTLY that you can’t stand?
Pinpoint the exact quality that you are demonizing here. (This part of the hate transformation process comes from Karla McLaren, who has come up with some beautiful and useful questions about hate in her book The Language of Emotions.)
Let’s take the historic hate-machine Hitler for example.
Clearly and sadly, history tells us that Hitler hated Jewish people (among many others who did not fit in with his Germanic background).
Are you ready for some serious truth?
What we are demonizing or making absolutely wrong in a person or group is exactly what we reject in yourself! It is a part of you that you refuse to see or cannot accept about yourself.
Can you find at least 1-2 examples of where you have rejected this quality from STEP 1 in yourself?
For example, Hitler thought that Jews were a biologically inferior race who could not be elevated through education.
And according to the History Channel biography: “Hitler did not do well in school. At the age of 15, he failed his exams and was told to repeat the year but he left without a formal education instead. He wanted to become an artist but was rejected from admissions in Vienna.”
Hitler failed to accept his own inadequacies and failures in life and projected them all onto the Jews.
Ooh, that was a hard pill to swallow. Take that Hitler! Now, your turn.
Now ask yourself this next crucial question:
What do you *really* value that makes you reject or condemn the object of your hate? In other words, what is it that you see they are NOT doing right?
For example, Hitler believed that if he wiped out all the Jews, then Germany would finally be successful. He made Jews the scapegoats of all Germany’s problems according to AnneFrank.org. He had a very clear value for SUCCESS in his life, and his failures at school were too much for him to handle and deal with.
What small action can you take today to strengthen what you most value (from STEP 3)?
For example, if Hitler could have accepted his own inadequacies in school, he may have sought an apprenticeship or a different learning environment he was more suited for. We all know now that school isn’t for everyone!
What if he had simply tried again, strengthening his value and wish for his own success, until he was accepted into art school? What a different history would he have written for the world!
Finally, give thanks to the person or object of your hate (secretly or openly) for helping you see what you care about most.
Now, feel how amazing, energizing, uplifting and inspiring it is to be fully aligned with your values again!
Here is where Hitler gives thanks to the Jewish people for helping shed light on his greatest desires and for pushing him to not give up on his dream of becoming an artist.
Can you imagine that picture with me for one second? Quite healing isn’t it?
*If you would like to learn more emotional mastery and transformation tools like this one, I’m launching a toolkit on how to ditch survival mode and build unstoppable energy in all 5 dimensions of your well-being- physical, mental/emotional, purpose/meaning, relationships and material in just one week (Aug 23rd, 2017)!
All the details will be dropped in my Facebook group here (click “Join” to stay updated).